Things We Do Deserve

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You know it’s really sad the things we project unto ourselves when we feel misunderstood or unloved. It literally causes us to withdraw and isolate and blame ourselves for the way we feel. Even when those triggers come from people who do not have an influence in our lives. I’m sharing this here because for far too long I’ve let the opinions of others make me feel a certain way or second guess myself. I’m learning I don’t need to defend myself to people that don’t really matter. Sometimes you have to let people be people and move on. Don’t let anyone get you outta character. We are responsible for the way we respond.

So I went to see my therapist on Friday and I shared with him what I was talking about in my previous post. As usual, immediately I wanted to erase what I’d written thinking I’m just overreacting. But, for some reason I decided to share my thoughts with him.

My therapist gave me alot of encouragement and he said no one deserves to get bullied. Especially from Christians who are supposed to know better and all about spreading the love of Jesus. No one deserves to feel invalidated. Every human has feelings and you shouldn’t feel less than by people who are supposed to love you.

He said people who don’t deal with mental illness do not realize how their words can affect someone who does. It can be very triggering and literally cause suicidal thoughts from people who refuse to see where you are coming from or insensitive to your situation.

You don’t deserve to be mistreated because of your mental health. You don’t deserve to be talked down to and judged because you choose medication and the Bible. Because you choose therapy and the Bible. Because you choose your mental health over their opinion and judgment.

So, I thank God for mental health medicine and doctors. I thank God for the Bible that gives me hope to keep pushing every single day. I pray this blog will be a place for people like us to feel loved and accepted just the way we are!!

So remember it’s okay to stick up for yourself and only accept the things you do deserve…now that’s real self-love!!

Miss Misunderstood

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This week I’d like to talk about feeling misunderstood. I now know one of my biggest pet peeves is being criticized or judged because I Identify as a Bipolar Christian. It hurts my feelings when people choose not to understand. Or they lack education so they assume mental illness looks a certain way. Just because I’m not schizophrenic or suicidal does not mean I am not ill. Why can’t I love Jesus and be honest about who I am and what’s going on with me? It doesn’t make me less of a Christian. It doesn’t make me lack The Word in my life. It doesn’t make me lack faith.

I can see it coming from regular people. But, when it comes from people in the Church it hits different. Then when it comes from Christian family members its 100x worse

I cannot pretend that being Bipolar and being a Christian is easy. Until you know who are you experience a lot of self – doubt wondering if God really loves you. Of course he does! Just as he loves all his children so lets be encouraged. Let’s not lose help that God is with us always. He hears. He sees. He walks beside us. Being Bipolar is NOT a character flaw.

So these are just some thoughts I plan to share with my therapist, and my prayer is that you can take bits and pieces and apply it to your life as well.

Until next time followers!!

2 Corinthians 12:9

Do Not Choose Death!

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As a result of being Bipolar with psychotic features I experience demonic dreams, persecution and hallucinations in my sleep.

So one night I had a dream that the devil tried to get me to sign a death contract. I like literally woke up in hell. So someone brings this contract to me. I couldn’t see what it was but it had the form of a person. Instinctively, my soul knew what it was and I was going to sign it because after so many persecution dreams I felt like that was the plan for my life so just deal with it.

Now as soon as I was ready to sign I heard a gentle voice say “don’t choose death.” Clear as day. Then I woke up…

So my point in sharing this is never sleep on the enemy. He comes to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10.) Never get so comfortable as a Christian that you feel nothing traumatic can happen to you. I cancel the death contract on your life!! I cancel anything he tries to throw at you to get your eyes off Jesus!!!! I cancel the assignment of the enemy!!!!

Keep praying, keep fasting, keep believing, keep seeking and he will always provide a way out!!!! I know my soul was gone like literally. But, God said no way. You will NOT choose death!!!!

Thank you for listening and don’t lose hope ✝️

Bipolar Faith

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I was diagnosed in 2013. I was 33. So I went over 30 years without a diagnosis, confused about my identity and doubting that God loved me. I’ve experienced what you call “church hurt.” I’ve been told to pray more, that I had a demon, that I had no faith, that I needed deliverance etc. It caused me many decades of pain and feeling unloved by people who were supposed to embrace me.

But, I’m here to tell you you are NOT sick because of your lack of faith!! Don’t believe the lies of people who do not understand mental illness or make you feel less of a Christian. Remember, our scripture 2 Corinthians 12:9. When we are weak he is strong. It is his grace that is sufficient for us. So if anything our faith is even stronger than most because we have to believe everyday. Not just on Sunday. We have to believe every moment. Because at any given time our minds can convince us otherwise. Mentally everyday is a struggle so therefore our faith is our hope and our hope is in Christ.

So, stop trying to stay in rooms you aren’t wanted. Stop holding on to people who choose to misunderstand you. Especially, people in the Church. No matter what they tell you mental illness is real and it does affect Christians just as much as anyone else. We have hearts and we love Jesus too!

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If you are on Facebook, join my new group called:

Bipolar Christians

https://www.facebook.com/groups/859723381792336/

Come be a part of a community of people who understand, need encouragement. or a place to share daily struggles.