religion

Comfortable in Suffering?

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Are you comfortable in your suffering?? About 3 months ago I had to ask myself this very question. The last time I talked to my psychiatrist I shared with him how strange I felt that I was no longer having Bipolar symptoms. That my life seemed to be on the mend…

As many of you know I’ve been mentally struggling since I was 9 years old. I am now 45 and can finally see some light as the end of the tunnel. I think as humans sometimes we don’t realize how many “norms” we create for ourselves. I’ve heard people ask, “Is it just my personality or is it because I’m Bipolar??” Some people get so comfortable in the illness they can no longer distinguish between the two.

I thank God everyday for his grace and mercy and that I am finally feeling mentally stable consistently. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not naive. I know there is no cure for mental illness. I’m just saying with each day my faith is increasing and my life is not the same. Something miraculous is gradually happening to me and I give God the glory. We may not understand the reasons why we mentally suffer. But, I am reminded of a few scriptures:

Jeremiah 29: 11 – 13 / For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Romans 8:28 / And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

So just remember your suffering is not in vain and all storm clouds eventually run out of rain.

God Bless✝️

Don’t Fight It

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You know life is more than stress and anxiety. So many people worry over the littlest things. While one person may see struggle as inevitable, another may see it as avoidable. It’s all about individual  perspective.

When I first entered recovery for mental health, they taught us The Serenity Prayer. It took awhile, but I memorized that thing and held on to it for dear life. It really got me through the toughest years of my life and I still depend on it daily.

But, what happens when we fight against the things we cannot change? We literally send ourselves to an early grave. We indulge in things we know we shouldn’t. We react to situations from a place of emotion instead of rationale. We project our negative feelings unto others. We become stagnate, unable to move forward in life.

It took me awhile to accept my mental health for what it is. I had to realize that a bad day does not equal a bad life. I’ve been stable for the last six months, and though it feels strange not to experience mania or depression I have decided not to fight against my stability. To take each day as it comes. It will last however long it lasts. I am not nervously waiting for the other shoe to drop or the inevitable crash that depression can bring.

It’s strange. But, it’s the new me. Past mental health experiences do not define who I am today. I will not fight against whatever God is doing in my life. I thank him for my stability and I encourage my readers to do the same. Don’t fight against the things you cannot change.

Thank you for listening!!

R.I.P. Jarrid Wilson

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https://time.com/5674636/megachurch-pastor-jarrid-wilson-dies-suicide/

Megachurch Pastor and Mental Health Advocate Jarrid Wilson Dies by Suicide (2019)

A California megachurch pastor who frequently spoke out on the issues of mental health and his own struggles with depression died on Monday by suicide at the age of 30.

Jarrid Wilson joined the Harvest Christian Fellowship church in Riverside, Calif. 18 months ago as an associate pastor, according to a statement from the church. The church has a congregation of 15,000.

“He was vibrant, positive, and was always serving and helping others,” the statement said. “He wanted to especially help those who were dealing with suicidal thoughts.”

“Sometimes people may think that as pastors or spiritual leaders we are somehow above the pain and struggles of everyday people,” the church’s senior pastor Greg Laurie wrote in a blog post mourning Wilson’s death on Tuesday. “We are the ones who are supposed to have all the answers. But we do not.”

Jarrid is survived by his wife Julianne and two sons, Denham and Finch.

Julianne shared an emotional tribute on Instagram, writing that her husband was a “loving, giving, kind-hearted, encouraging, handsome, hilarious, give the shirt [off] his back husband.”

“No more pain, my Jerry, no more struggle. You are made complete and you are finally free. Suicide and depression fed you the worst lies, but you knew the truth of Jesus and I know you’re by his side right this very second,” her post read.

Wilson and his wife were the founders of an outreach program called “Anthem of Hope,” which set out to help people dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts.

In a 2017 podcast interview with ChurchLeaders.com, Wilson cited the Bible’s Book of Job, arguing that “Some of God’s brightest saints dealt with the darkest of depression. What we have to understand is that just because you’re dealing with depression or suicidal thoughts does not mean you’re any less of a believer or a Christian than anybody else.” And in a column written a year later for the site, he wrestled further with scriptural precedent and the stigma many place upon suicide and suicidal thoughts or ideation. Such judgments, Harris wrote, “ill-thought and without proper biblical understanding… [they] obviously don’t understand the totality of mental health issues in today’s world, let alone understand the basic theology behind compassion and God’s all-consuming grace.” He continued:

Does God approve of suicide? Nope!
Does God view suicide as a bad thing? Yup!
Is God’s grace sufficient even for those who have committed suicide? Yup!

The day before his death, Wilson tweeted that faith couldn’t always be seen as a “cure” but added that it “doesn’t mean Jesus doesn’t offer us companionship and comfort. He ALWAYS does that.”

If you or someone you know may be contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. In emergencies, call 911, or seek care from a local hospital or mental health provider.

Tackling the Taboo

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Do you or a loved one suffer from anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns as a Christian? You are not alone.

Over 50 million Americans – including Christians – struggle with mental illness. Many struggle in silence, but it does not have to be that way. While some espouse the belief that Christians should not have anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, that simply is not reality. Having mental health concerns is not the result of a lackluster relationship with God. Nor is it a gauge of one’s spirituality. Being sick mentally is more akin to having a physical ailment that we need to learn to understand and treat, if possible.

-Consider myths surrounding mental health concerns and their truthfulness;

-Study biblical characters who likely dealt with mental health issues;

-Learn from the author’s own experiences with mental illness;

-Use different resources to cope with depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns;

-Develop a suicide safety plan and make a commitment to live; and,

-Have open dialogue with your family and friends about depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

This book delivers vivid connections between the author’s life experiences — providing details about her struggles — and the Scriptures that give us hope as we navigate mental health issues. After reading this book, you will be better equipped to handle mental health concerns for yourself and those you love and better understand how Christians can cope with mental illness.

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Being affected by mental health issues, Terica uses her own experiences to help others afflicted with mental health concerns. She is a firm believer that the topic of mental health does not need to be avoided, and she advocates to remove the stigma surrounding mental health.

Bipolar Gratitude

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Hello readers. I pray you all are well and blessed! I’ve been taking it one day at a time. But, I’ve been experiencing a lot of unnecessary anxiety over minor things. My online church gave me the idea to create a daily focus word to keep us more grounded and I’ve been hearing the word: gratitude.

So what is gratitude? Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. I think sometimes we are so focused on how big our problem is and we often feel like we are alone in the fight. Especially, mentally.

Gratitude can take us a long way. If we didn’t have the bad times how would we know how to appreciate the good? We should be grateful to God that we get to experience life on his terms no matter how painful. Gratitude helps us grow. It helps us to stay grounded and be thankful for everything we have. If we make a gratitude list, I wonder how long it would be? I bet we would discover things about our life we never knew we took for granted. We would discover that God is always in the midst of our situation and in the little things.

There is always something to be thankful for. Anyway, just sharing some late night thoughts! Have a blessed weekend.

May = Mental Health Month

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New month. New beginnings. May is our month dedicated to breaking the stigma and raising awareness about mental illness. People all over the world create new ways to reach others and have impact.

This coming Saturday, I will be going to my 1st NAMI meeting. I’ve been putting it off for some years now. But, I realize I need community outside of my immediate family. There is also DBSA, which stands for Depression Bipolar Support Alliance.

So, this month, make sure you reach out if/when you are struggling. These organizations provide online and in person support groups as well as tons of education on the subject. Remember you are not alone!

Not Alone

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Hello followers! I apologize for my silence over the last couple months. But, I’ve been processing the changes in my seasons of life. I don’t always do well with change.

My husband had shoulder surgery at the end of January and I’ve been just trying to be the best wife and mother I could be for my family. Please keep him in your prayers 🙏

Anyway, the reason for this post is to remind you that no matter what, we are not alone. You may be going through something right now that feels so isolating, and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But, I assure you it’s there. Hope is what gets us through. Hope in Jesus that while you are yet suffering, he also suffered for the sins of the whole world. But, because of him, our suffering is not in vain, and thank God it will not last forever! 🙌

Just like God told Joshua in the Bible, he was not alone and that he would always be with him (Joshua 1:9). We can be sure he is telling us the same thing. So let’s hold our heads high and put our hope in Jesus ✝️

Have a wonderful week 😊

In Unsure Times

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Romans 8:1 –

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Many Bipolar Christians doubt their faith when they go through stages of depression. In fact, in our community, this is a major struggle.

I think it’s important to memorize scripture that will ensure our faith and let us know we are secure in Christ. Part of my diagnosis with having psychotic features is that I have a fear of eternal damnation or religious persecution. I have to remind myself daily of Romans 8:1 (listed above) that I am not being punished and my soul is not in danger.

Meditating on scripture in the hard times is how we push through the unsure times. Intuitively, we know there is light at the end of the tunnel even when we can’t see it.

Followers, you are loved and you are not alone. Ever! Our future is secure. Philippians 4: 6 – 7 tells us not to be anxious for anything. So ease your mind of the anxiety that you are not saved. Pray for peace. Peace that surpasses all understanding.

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I hope your Christmas was everything you hoped it would be and I’ll hopefully see your comments and get to know some of you in the new year🎉🎉

When it rains, it pours

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Lately, its been raining for weeks on end and many of you know it affects our mood and motivation. I remember being younger and comforted by the rain. The sound of the storm, the drizzle of rain or breeze from an open window, used to relax me. But, its not always just physical rain that gets you down.

Its emotional rain…

The feeling that you have no control over the situation. The feeling that no matter what you do your emotional home is drowning in sadness. It’s a miserable cycle. And just when you think things are beginning to look up it rains again.

So why don’t we learn to “pour” light and hope into the situation. Ecclesiastes 3 talks about their being a time for everything under the sun. We may not be able to stop the rain, but what we can do is change how we feel about it. Rain is designed for things to grow. We have to realize the rain won’t last always and the sun will shine again. And when it does it gives us hope and thankfulness for a brand new day or a brand new situation.

Just a thought I had that I plan to apply to my own life. Remember, we are in this thing together!!

Joy and Sadness in Pixar’s Inside Out.

Things We Do Deserve

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You know it’s really sad the things we project unto ourselves when we feel misunderstood or unloved. It literally causes us to withdraw and isolate and blame ourselves for the way we feel. Even when those triggers come from people who do not have an influence in our lives. I’m sharing this here because for far too long I’ve let the opinions of others make me feel a certain way or second guess myself. I’m learning I don’t need to defend myself to people that don’t really matter. Sometimes you have to let people be people and move on. Don’t let anyone get you outta character. We are responsible for the way we respond.

So I went to see my therapist on Friday and I shared with him what I was talking about in my previous post. As usual, immediately I wanted to erase what I’d written thinking I’m just overreacting. But, for some reason I decided to share my thoughts with him.

My therapist gave me alot of encouragement and he said no one deserves to get bullied. Especially from Christians who are supposed to know better and all about spreading the love of Jesus. No one deserves to feel invalidated. Every human has feelings and you shouldn’t feel less than by people who are supposed to love you.

He said people who don’t deal with mental illness do not realize how their words can affect someone who does. It can be very triggering and literally cause suicidal thoughts from people who refuse to see where you are coming from or insensitive to your situation.

You don’t deserve to be mistreated because of your mental health. You don’t deserve to be talked down to and judged because you choose medication and the Bible. Because you choose therapy and the Bible. Because you choose your mental health over their opinion and judgment.

So, I thank God for mental health medicine and doctors. I thank God for the Bible that gives me hope to keep pushing every single day. I pray this blog will be a place for people like us to feel loved and accepted just the way we are!!

So remember it’s okay to stick up for yourself and only accept the things you do deserve…now that’s real self-love!!

Miss Misunderstood

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This week I’d like to talk about feeling misunderstood. I now know one of my biggest pet peeves is being criticized or judged because I Identify as a Bipolar Christian. It hurts my feelings when people choose not to understand. Or they lack education so they assume mental illness looks a certain way. Just because I’m not schizophrenic or suicidal does not mean I am not ill. Why can’t I love Jesus and be honest about who I am and what’s going on with me? It doesn’t make me less of a Christian. It doesn’t make me lack The Word in my life. It doesn’t make me lack faith.

I can see it coming from regular people. But, when it comes from people in the Church it hits different. Then when it comes from Christian family members its 100x worse

I cannot pretend that being Bipolar and being a Christian is easy. Until you know who are you experience a lot of self – doubt wondering if God really loves you. Of course he does! Just as he loves all his children so lets be encouraged. Let’s not lose help that God is with us always. He hears. He sees. He walks beside us. Being Bipolar is NOT a character flaw.

So these are just some thoughts I plan to share with my therapist, and my prayer is that you can take bits and pieces and apply it to your life as well.

Until next time followers!!

2 Corinthians 12:9

Do Not Choose Death!

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As a result of being Bipolar with psychotic features I experience demonic dreams, persecution and hallucinations in my sleep.

So one night I had a dream that the devil tried to get me to sign a death contract. I like literally woke up in hell. So someone brings this contract to me. I couldn’t see what it was but it had the form of a person. Instinctively, my soul knew what it was and I was going to sign it because after so many persecution dreams I felt like that was the plan for my life so just deal with it.

Now as soon as I was ready to sign I heard a gentle voice say “don’t choose death.” Clear as day. Then I woke up…

So my point in sharing this is never sleep on the enemy. He comes to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10.) Never get so comfortable as a Christian that you feel nothing traumatic can happen to you. I cancel the death contract on your life!! I cancel anything he tries to throw at you to get your eyes off Jesus!!!! I cancel the assignment of the enemy!!!!

Keep praying, keep fasting, keep believing, keep seeking and he will always provide a way out!!!! I know my soul was gone like literally. But, God said no way. You will NOT choose death!!!!

Thank you for listening and don’t lose hope ✝️

Bipolar Faith

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I was diagnosed in 2013. I was 33. So I went over 30 years without a diagnosis, confused about my identity and doubting that God loved me. I’ve experienced what you call “church hurt.” I’ve been told to pray more, that I had a demon, that I had no faith, that I needed deliverance etc. It caused me many decades of pain and feeling unloved by people who were supposed to embrace me.

But, I’m here to tell you you are NOT sick because of your lack of faith!! Don’t believe the lies of people who do not understand mental illness or make you feel less of a Christian. Remember, our scripture 2 Corinthians 12:9. When we are weak he is strong. It is his grace that is sufficient for us. So if anything our faith is even stronger than most because we have to believe everyday. Not just on Sunday. We have to believe every moment. Because at any given time our minds can convince us otherwise. Mentally everyday is a struggle so therefore our faith is our hope and our hope is in Christ.

So, stop trying to stay in rooms you aren’t wanted. Stop holding on to people who choose to misunderstand you. Especially, people in the Church. No matter what they tell you mental illness is real and it does affect Christians just as much as anyone else. We have hearts and we love Jesus too!

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If you are on Facebook, join my new group called:

Bipolar Christians

https://www.facebook.com/groups/859723381792336/

Come be a part of a community of people who understand, need encouragement. or a place to share daily struggles.

11 Steps to Help You

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Getting through the storms of Life

1. Worship music- find that song that speaks to your soul. Others may not understand the need to listen to the same song/music but it’s very helpful and sometimes what you need to get through the hard times.

2. Adopt a daily spiritual practice and stick to it matter what. It has been said that if you repeat the same routine for 30 days it becomes a habit.

3. Spend time w/ God daily. This is usually done through prayer. Even if it feels like God is not listening…do it anyway. He hears you.

4. Guard what goes in and what goes out. Watch your mouth. Watch who and what you listen to. The top 5 people in your life influence you the most.

5. Be willing to make changes. As you grow and evolve, you will notice things around you changing.

6. Learn and repeat The Serenity Prayer.

7. Be patient with yourself and trust the process. Remember, there are no mistakes in the universe. You are exactly where you need to be in life. You are not a victim.

8. Remove toxic people from your life or love them from a distance.

9. Do not isolate yourself. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. He wants to isolate you and make you feel alone and that no one loves you. Challenge yourself to get up, get some fresh air, do whatever it takes. Force yourself to stay in reality. Fight the darkness!

10. Lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3: 5 – 6

11. Most importantly, remember God is bigger than man or any situation/circumstance we may face. He has a plan for all of us.