spirituality

Miss Misunderstood

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This week I’d like to talk about feeling misunderstood. I now know one of my biggest pet peeves is being criticized or judged because I Identify as a Bipolar Christian. It hurts my feelings when people choose not to understand. Or they lack education so they assume mental illness looks a certain way. Just because I’m not schizophrenic or suicidal does not mean I am not ill. Why can’t I love Jesus and be honest about who I am and what’s going on with me? It doesn’t make me less of a Christian. It doesn’t make me lack The Word in my life. It doesn’t make me lack faith.

I can see it coming from regular people. But, when it comes from people in the Church it hits different. Then when it comes from Christian family members its 100x worse

I cannot pretend that being Bipolar and being a Christian is easy. Until you know who are you experience a lot of self – doubt wondering if God really loves you. Of course he does! Just as he loves all his children so lets be encouraged. Let’s not lose help that God is with us always. He hears. He sees. He walks beside us. Being Bipolar is NOT a character flaw.

So these are just some thoughts I plan to share with my therapist, and my prayer is that you can take bits and pieces and apply it to your life as well.

Until next time followers!!

2 Corinthians 12:9

Do Not Choose Death!

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As a result of being Bipolar with psychotic features I experience demonic dreams, persecution and hallucinations in my sleep.

So one night I had a dream that the devil tried to get me to sign a death contract. I like literally woke up in hell. So someone brings this contract to me. I couldn’t see what it was but it had the form of a person. Instinctively, my soul knew what it was and I was going to sign it because after so many persecution dreams I felt like that was the plan for my life so just deal with it.

Now as soon as I was ready to sign I heard a gentle voice say “don’t choose death.” Clear as day. Then I woke up…

So my point in sharing this is never sleep on the enemy. He comes to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10.) Never get so comfortable as a Christian that you feel nothing traumatic can happen to you. I cancel the death contract on your life!! I cancel anything he tries to throw at you to get your eyes off Jesus!!!! I cancel the assignment of the enemy!!!!

Keep praying, keep fasting, keep believing, keep seeking and he will always provide a way out!!!! I know my soul was gone like literally. But, God said no way. You will NOT choose death!!!!

Thank you for listening and don’t lose hope ✝️

Bipolar Faith

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I was diagnosed in 2013. I was 33. So I went over 30 years without a diagnosis, confused about my identity and doubting that God loved me. I’ve experienced what you call “church hurt.” I’ve been told to pray more, that I had a demon, that I had no faith, that I needed deliverance etc. It caused me many decades of pain and feeling unloved by people who were supposed to embrace me.

But, I’m here to tell you you are NOT sick because of your lack of faith!! Don’t believe the lies of people who do not understand mental illness or make you feel less of a Christian. Remember, our scripture 2 Corinthians 12:9. When we are weak he is strong. It is his grace that is sufficient for us. So if anything our faith is even stronger than most because we have to believe everyday. Not just on Sunday. We have to believe every moment. Because at any given time our minds can convince us otherwise. Mentally everyday is a struggle so therefore our faith is our hope and our hope is in Christ.

So, stop trying to stay in rooms you aren’t wanted. Stop holding on to people who choose to misunderstand you. Especially, people in the Church. No matter what they tell you mental illness is real and it does affect Christians just as much as anyone else. We have hearts and we love Jesus too!

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If you are on Facebook, join my new group called:

Bipolar Christians

https://www.facebook.com/groups/859723381792336/

Come be a part of a community of people who understand, need encouragement. or a place to share daily struggles.

11 Steps to Help You

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Getting through the storms of Life

1. Worship music- find that song that speaks to your soul. Others may not understand the need to listen to the same song/music but it’s very helpful and sometimes what you need to get through the hard times.

2. Adopt a daily spiritual practice and stick to it matter what. It has been said that if you repeat the same routine for 30 days it becomes a habit.

3. Spend time w/ God daily. This is usually done through prayer. Even if it feels like God is not listening…do it anyway. He hears you.

4. Guard what goes in and what goes out. Watch your mouth. Watch who and what you listen to. The top 5 people in your life influence you the most.

5. Be willing to make changes. As you grow and evolve, you will notice things around you changing.

6. Learn and repeat The Serenity Prayer.

7. Be patient with yourself and trust the process. Remember, there are no mistakes in the universe. You are exactly where you need to be in life. You are not a victim.

8. Remove toxic people from your life or love them from a distance.

9. Do not isolate yourself. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. He wants to isolate you and make you feel alone and that no one loves you. Challenge yourself to get up, get some fresh air, do whatever it takes. Force yourself to stay in reality. Fight the darkness!

10. Lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3: 5 – 6

11. Most importantly, remember God is bigger than man or any situation/circumstance we may face. He has a plan for all of us.