It’s Not Failure

I remember when I went to see a psychiatrist when I was 9 years old. I had been taken away from my mother and placed with my grandparents for a few months because of my mom’s alcoholism.

I remember being so fascinated by the tranquility of the office, the music was soothing, the office was peaceful and the psychiatrist was really nice and a great listener. Even though I don’t remember much else about those sessions I knew that is what I wanted to do when I became an adult. Help people work through their problems. Help them understand their childhood and their behavior and put them on the path to recovery.

The 1st time I went to school to pursue my degree I obtained a 3.5 gpa. But, I had to quit because I had no one to watch my children while my husband worked. The 2nd time I tried to go was after I got sick and the stress of it all sent me into mania/psychosis. Then I realized I couldn’t process math beyond algebra so I couldn’t get the needed math credits for the degree.

Talk about devastated πŸ’” my heart shattered because that’s all I ever wanted to be. I find it ironic that the very thing I thought was my professional calling is the very thing I struggle with daily = the brain.

It took me years to stop beating myself up about it. It took me even longer to accept the reality that God had other plans for my life. Some days are still tough and its hard to understand God’s plan.

But, ITS NOT FAILURE!!!! Sometimes, we just need to accept that God had a different plan for our lives and move forward knowing that one day we will walk in our calling and purpose. That everyone has one and we are all unique. You may not be in the profession you dreamed of. Your life may not have turned out the way you mapped it out. But, that does not make you a failure. Accepting the things we cannot change is a HUGE part of our recovery!!!!

So don’t beat yourself up about your failures and disappointments. Know that you are still talented, loved, ambitious etc. Don’t fret. Your breakthrough is coming!! πŸ‘

Not Alone

Hello followers! I apologize for my silence over the last couple months. But, I’ve been processing the changes in my seasons of life. I don’t always do well with change.

My husband had shoulder surgery at the end of January and I’ve been just trying to be the best wife and mother I could be for my family. Please keep him in your prayers πŸ™

Anyway, the reason for this post is to remind you that no matter what, we are not alone. You may be going through something right now that feels so isolating, and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But, I assure you it’s there. Hope is what gets us through. Hope in Jesus that while you are yet suffering, he also suffered for the sins of the whole world. But, because of him, our suffering is not in vain, and thank God it will not last forever! πŸ™Œ

Just like God told Joshua in the Bible, he was not alone and that he would always be with him (Joshua 1:9). We can be sure he is telling us the same thing. So let’s hold our heads high and put our hope in Jesus ✝️

Have a wonderful week 😊

In Unsure Times

Romans 8:1 –

Therefore,Β there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Many Bipolar Christians doubt their faith when they go through stages of depression. In fact, in our community, this is a major struggle.

I think it’s important to memorize scripture that will ensure our faith and let us know we are secure in Christ. Part of my diagnosis with having psychotic features is that I have a fear of eternal damnation or religious persecution. I have to remind myself daily of Romans 8:1 (listed above) that I am not being punished and my soul is not in danger.

Meditating on scripture in the hard times is how we push through the unsure times. Intuitively, we know there is light at the end of the tunnel even when we can’t see it.

Followers, you are loved and you are not alone. Ever! Our future is secure. Philippians 4: 6 – 7 tells us not to be anxious for anything. So ease your mind of the anxiety that you are not saved. Pray for peace. Peace that surpasses all understanding.

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I hope your Christmas was everything you hoped it would be and I’ll hopefully see your comments and get to know some of you in the new yearπŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

Things We Do Deserve

You know it’s really sad the things we project unto ourselves when we feel misunderstood or unloved. It literally causes us to withdraw and isolate and blame ourselves for the way we feel. Even when those triggers come from people who do not have an influence in our lives. I’m sharing this here because for far too long I’ve let the opinions of others make me feel a certain way or second guess myself. I’m learning I don’t need to defend myself to people that don’t really matter. Sometimes you have to let people be people and move on. Don’t let anyone get you outta character. We are responsible for the way we respond.

So I went to see my therapist on Friday and I shared with him what I was talking about in my previous post. As usual, immediately I wanted to erase what I’d written thinking I’m just overreacting. But, for some reason I decided to share my thoughts with him.

My therapist gave me alot of encouragement and he said no one deserves to get bullied. Especially from Christians who are supposed to know better and all about spreading the love of Jesus. No one deserves to feel invalidated. Every human has feelings and you shouldn’t feel less than by people who are supposed to love you.

He said people who don’t deal with mental illness do not realize how their words can affect someone who does. It can be very triggering and literally cause suicidal thoughts from people who refuse to see where you are coming from or insensitive to your situation.

You don’t deserve to be mistreated because of your mental health. You don’t deserve to be talked down to and judged because you choose medication and the Bible. Because you choose therapy and the Bible. Because you choose your mental health over their opinion and judgment.

So, I thank God for mental health medicine and doctors. I thank God for the Bible that gives me hope to keep pushing every single day. I pray this blog will be a place for people like us to feel loved and accepted just the way we are!!

So remember it’s okay to stick up for yourself and only accept the things you do deserve…now that’s real self-love!!