forgiveness

Until Then…

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Hey readers/visitors! Thanks for rocking with me for the last two years. I really appreciate you all. Today, I feel like just unburdening myself with a thought💭

Many people who struggle with bipolar depression say, ‘Man, I wish I didn’t have bipolar.’ Or they question why God will not heal them. Many are frustrated about their suffering, desperately looking for a way out.

But, I am reminded of the scripture in 1 Peter 5:9 NLT that says:
Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. This let’s me know that we are not alone. That we do not face mental illness as some kind of punishment.

I am also reminded of the scripture 1 Corinthians 10:13 which states: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will NOT let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

So you see, God is faithful and his Word will not return void. Don’t let your frustration with your mental struggles get the best of you or make you angry because you are not healed yet. No one is exempt from pain & suffering.

Try to manage your symptoms the best way you can. Exercise your faith believing in God’s Word and know that even if he doesn’t heal you, you are still special and loved. For me, I believe I made “peace” with my illness (if that makes sense) a few years ago. You cannot spend your life angry about the things you cannot change. I’ve learned to be content in the areas he has blessed me in, celebrate the small wins and continue to pray for victory.

So until then, find your inner strength and be grateful 😊

Thanks for listening!

Times, they are a changing…

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Hello readers,

Just thought I’d drop by and give my followers an update on my life and what’s been going on with me. I’ve been praying for revelation on my purpose and how I can contribute to the world. I know that one of my purposes is to be a good caretaker for my special needs daughter, as well as a good wife and mother to my family.

However, I get the feeling there is more in store for me. Maybe I haven’t discovered it, or God will reveal it in his perfect timing. I would love to finish my memoir. But, because of my memory loss issues I’m having problems remembering my past years and the alot of the details of my mental health challenges. It feels like a jumbled jigsaw puzzle. Frustrating to say the least…

But, in the meantime I do alot of adult coloring and reading. My Bible and prayer journal are still very much a part of my life. But, it can be triggering if I take in too much information. So it’s just one day at a time for me.

I pray that all is well with you as we enter the final quarter of 2025 and that you are blessed beyond measure 🙌

Take care!! 🙂

Comfortable in Suffering?

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Are you comfortable in your suffering?? About 3 months ago I had to ask myself this very question. The last time I talked to my psychiatrist I shared with him how strange I felt that I was no longer having Bipolar symptoms. That my life seemed to be on the mend…

As many of you know I’ve been mentally struggling since I was 9 years old. I am now 45 and can finally see some light as the end of the tunnel. I think as humans sometimes we don’t realize how many “norms” we create for ourselves. I’ve heard people ask, “Is it just my personality or is it because I’m Bipolar??” Some people get so comfortable in the illness they can no longer distinguish between the two.

I thank God everyday for his grace and mercy and that I am finally feeling mentally stable consistently. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not naive. I know there is no cure for mental illness. I’m just saying with each day my faith is increasing and my life is not the same. Something miraculous is gradually happening to me and I give God the glory. We may not understand the reasons why we mentally suffer. But, I am reminded of a few scriptures:

Jeremiah 29: 11 – 13 / For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Romans 8:28 / And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

So just remember your suffering is not in vain and all storm clouds eventually run out of rain.

God Bless✝️

It’s Not Failure

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I remember when I went to see a psychiatrist when I was 9 years old. I had been taken away from my mother and placed with my grandparents for a few months because of my mom’s alcoholism.

I remember being so fascinated by the tranquility of the office, the music was soothing, the office was peaceful and the psychiatrist was really nice and a great listener. Even though I don’t remember much else about those sessions I knew that is what I wanted to do when I became an adult. Help people work through their problems. Help them understand their childhood and their behavior and put them on the path to recovery.

The 1st time I went to school to pursue my degree I obtained a 3.5 gpa. But, I had to quit because I had no one to watch my children while my husband worked. The 2nd time I tried to go was after I got sick and the stress of it all sent me into mania/psychosis. Then I realized I couldn’t process math beyond algebra so I couldn’t get the needed math credits for the degree.

Talk about devastated 💔 my heart shattered because that’s all I ever wanted to be. I find it ironic that the very thing I thought was my professional calling is the very thing I struggle with daily = the brain.

It took me years to stop beating myself up about it. It took me even longer to accept the reality that God had other plans for my life. Some days are still tough and its hard to understand God’s plan.

But, ITS NOT FAILURE!!!! Sometimes, we just need to accept that God had a different plan for our lives and move forward knowing that one day we will walk in our calling and purpose. That everyone has one and we are all unique. You may not be in the profession you dreamed of. Your life may not have turned out the way you mapped it out. But, that does not make you a failure. Accepting the things we cannot change is a HUGE part of our recovery!!!!

So don’t beat yourself up about your failures and disappointments. Know that you are still talented, loved, ambitious etc. Don’t fret. Your breakthrough is coming!! 👍