gratitude

Only If You Could…

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Hello readers! Its been a minute. I hope your new year is bringing you tons of blessings and that you are well and blessed 🙂

I was thinking about all the creative geniuses that have suffered with bipolar disorder and I was wondering how they felt about creative mania. Take Vincent Van Gogh for instance, did he do his best work when he was manic or did he fight against it?🤔 You know some people like the manic side of bipolar disorder.

So my question is what part of bipolar disorder would you keep if you could? Do you do better getting organized, are you in a happier mood, or do you feel more creative when you are manic etc?

I would say for me I can get things done faster. I feel like I can get multiple projects done simultaneously. I also experience waves of euphoria. All the typical stuff. But, I think I would prefer the middle part of the spectrum. I like my moods to be even kneeled. Mania just isn’t for me.

But, there is nothing wrong with people who love that side of themselves and really step into their creative side. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 9:10, ‘Whatever you find to do with your hands, do it with all your might, because there is neither work nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom in the grave, the place where you will eventually go.

So those are my thoughts for now.

P.S. Thank you all for reading my testimony below this post! Don’t forget about our Facebook group at the link above. God bless!

Times, they are a changing…

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Hello readers,

Just thought I’d drop by and give my followers an update on my life and what’s been going on with me. I’ve been praying for revelation on my purpose and how I can contribute to the world. I know that one of my purposes is to be a good caretaker for my special needs daughter, as well as a good wife and mother to my family.

However, I get the feeling there is more in store for me. Maybe I haven’t discovered it, or God will reveal it in his perfect timing. I would love to finish my memoir. But, because of my memory loss issues I’m having problems remembering my past years and the alot of the details of my mental health challenges. It feels like a jumbled jigsaw puzzle. Frustrating to say the least…

But, in the meantime I do alot of adult coloring and reading. My Bible and prayer journal are still very much a part of my life. But, it can be triggering if I take in too much information. So it’s just one day at a time for me.

I pray that all is well with you as we enter the final quarter of 2025 and that you are blessed beyond measure 🙌

Take care!! 🙂

Comfortable in Suffering?

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Are you comfortable in your suffering?? About 3 months ago I had to ask myself this very question. The last time I talked to my psychiatrist I shared with him how strange I felt that I was no longer having Bipolar symptoms. That my life seemed to be on the mend…

As many of you know I’ve been mentally struggling since I was 9 years old. I am now 45 and can finally see some light as the end of the tunnel. I think as humans sometimes we don’t realize how many “norms” we create for ourselves. I’ve heard people ask, “Is it just my personality or is it because I’m Bipolar??” Some people get so comfortable in the illness they can no longer distinguish between the two.

I thank God everyday for his grace and mercy and that I am finally feeling mentally stable consistently. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not naive. I know there is no cure for mental illness. I’m just saying with each day my faith is increasing and my life is not the same. Something miraculous is gradually happening to me and I give God the glory. We may not understand the reasons why we mentally suffer. But, I am reminded of a few scriptures:

Jeremiah 29: 11 – 13 / For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Romans 8:28 / And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

So just remember your suffering is not in vain and all storm clouds eventually run out of rain.

God Bless✝️

Don’t Fight It

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You know life is more than stress and anxiety. So many people worry over the littlest things. While one person may see struggle as inevitable, another may see it as avoidable. It’s all about individual  perspective.

When I first entered recovery for mental health, they taught us The Serenity Prayer. It took awhile, but I memorized that thing and held on to it for dear life. It really got me through the toughest years of my life and I still depend on it daily.

But, what happens when we fight against the things we cannot change? We literally send ourselves to an early grave. We indulge in things we know we shouldn’t. We react to situations from a place of emotion instead of rationale. We project our negative feelings unto others. We become stagnate, unable to move forward in life.

It took me awhile to accept my mental health for what it is. I had to realize that a bad day does not equal a bad life. I’ve been stable for the last six months, and though it feels strange not to experience mania or depression I have decided not to fight against my stability. To take each day as it comes. It will last however long it lasts. I am not nervously waiting for the other shoe to drop or the inevitable crash that depression can bring.

It’s strange. But, it’s the new me. Past mental health experiences do not define who I am today. I will not fight against whatever God is doing in my life. I thank him for my stability and I encourage my readers to do the same. Don’t fight against the things you cannot change.

Thank you for listening!!